It's Monday.
John now has some sort of stomach bug.
He has been vomiting and diarrhea since Saturday.
He won't even get out of bed today. He is holding down Gatorade when I wake him up but he goes straight back to sleep. We see Dr. Young at 3pm today.
Randy and I went to my OB/GYN this morning to check on baby #2. He seen movement...but no heartbeat. He told me...once again...that I am going to have a miscarriage within the next two weeks. I am not upset...the Lord has me calm...and in the palm of His hand. I will not worry...for tomorrow has enough worry of it own.
Thanks for you prayers.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Praise You.
I usually leave the blogging about "deep" spiritual stuff to my sister. She is so much better about this sort of stuff than I am. The Lord is pouring words and wisdom into her constantly. So…with that being said…this is not "deep" but it is spiritual and personal. I have always loved our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – I do not remember never having Him in my life. There was a period in my teens and early twenties when I put Him and our relationship on the back burner but I did go running back…and I try to stay as close to Him as possible. (In fact today I told Him that He would be dragging me around because I am clinging to the hem of His garment.)
Since June of last year my little family…I should say big – there is nothing "little" about the three of us…anyway…we have been under attack from the enemy. It started with John falling off the kitchen counter and breaking his collar bone in June. I could go into all the attacks we have had but I refuse to revisit these & give the enemy the satisfaction of my sorrow!
The attacks have gotten worse…and worse…and worse…and now (if this makes sense) more personal. Just about the time Randy and I think things have settled down…BAM…another bomb drops.
“And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
Okay...I honestly thought…this is how ignorant I was when I came back into relationship with Jesus…I thought that my life was going to be easy. I thought that since I was walking the straight & narrow path that my troubles & heartaches would be far…far…away. Little did I realize I would be tested….over…. & over…& over. Sometimes I fly through a test and I seem to pass with flying colors and then other times…I have to re-take…& re-take…& re-take. I have even stepped away from fellowship with the Lord because the test was just too much…I could not take it again but eventually the test came back…and I ran straight to Him. And that’s the great & amazing thing…He wants to help me with each of these tests. I cried to my sister today and said “what is going on”….”what have I done to make God so mad at me”….”what type of sin do I have that is causing this pain”. She told me that I was doing things right and it is making the enemy really mad. So…I take this test. And I praise our Lord. I am hanging on to His hem.
I leave you with another song that keeps going through my mind today by Mercy Me.
Since June of last year my little family…I should say big – there is nothing "little" about the three of us…anyway…we have been under attack from the enemy. It started with John falling off the kitchen counter and breaking his collar bone in June. I could go into all the attacks we have had but I refuse to revisit these & give the enemy the satisfaction of my sorrow!
The attacks have gotten worse…and worse…and worse…and now (if this makes sense) more personal. Just about the time Randy and I think things have settled down…BAM…another bomb drops.
As I type this...I am in a hospital room with John. He had what appeared to be a severe asthma attack at midnight last night. We gave him breathing treatments but they would only last about thirty minutes & "wire" him up. We went to the doctor about 10am this morning and he admitted John to the hospital. John does not have a history of asthma…he did have a small case of RSV last month but nothing too bad. They ruled out RSV and pneumonia so far and the doctor did not make rounds tonight so we do not know what any of the test results are. They have poked, x-ray’ed, and exam’ed every square inch of his John's little body. He has an IV in the bend of his arm, a monitor for oxygen on his big toe, and oxygen up his nose. But...as I gripe to you about this trial…I must stop and Praise our Lord. I keep hearing the Casting Crowns song“Praise You Through This Storm”
“And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm”
Okay...I honestly thought…this is how ignorant I was when I came back into relationship with Jesus…I thought that my life was going to be easy. I thought that since I was walking the straight & narrow path that my troubles & heartaches would be far…far…away. Little did I realize I would be tested….over…. & over…& over. Sometimes I fly through a test and I seem to pass with flying colors and then other times…I have to re-take…& re-take…& re-take. I have even stepped away from fellowship with the Lord because the test was just too much…I could not take it again but eventually the test came back…and I ran straight to Him. And that’s the great & amazing thing…He wants to help me with each of these tests. I cried to my sister today and said “what is going on”….”what have I done to make God so mad at me”….”what type of sin do I have that is causing this pain”. She told me that I was doing things right and it is making the enemy really mad. So…I take this test. And I praise our Lord. I am hanging on to His hem.
I leave you with another song that keeps going through my mind today by Mercy Me.
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope
Hold fast Help is on the way
Hold fast He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Thanks for reading...thanks for praying for us. I had to vent. I feel much better!
I still have two questions.....why is time now standing still....and why can't the hospital staff coordinate the times they come in the room - someone is coming in every thirty minutes to do a breathing treatment, take a temperature, look up a nose....why can't they do this all at one time and let the boy sleep???...I know I am sure there is a great reason. Just asking???
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Pantyhose Riddle...
The Pantyhose Riddle
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Now, think about it...
Scroll down, you'll love this...
Answer:
10 little piggies,
2 calves,
1 ass,
an unknown number of hares,
And of course one (1) . .
Come on, you know you're laughing!
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Now, think about it...
Scroll down, you'll love this...
Answer:
10 little piggies,
2 calves,
1 ass,
an unknown number of hares,
And of course one (1) . .
Come on, you know you're laughing!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Update...
For those keeping track. The sheep...the little lost sheep...has been in my bed the past two nights...this includes the night John stayed with MaMa & PaPa. I accused Randy of secretly putting the sheep in bed with us...but I watched John this evening put this little lost sheep...in my bed.
John did stay all night at MaMa & PaPa. He went to bed around 11pm (three hours past his usual time)...woke up at 1am & took another bottle of milk...woke up at 5am - completely wet the bed, sheets, clothes, MaMa's night gown and he was ready to party!! When Mom called at 9am and Randy answered the phone all she said was..."HELP"! John slept all day Sunday - it was great...me, Randy & John all curled up in bed & napped - the perfect birthday!
John did stay all night at MaMa & PaPa. He went to bed around 11pm (three hours past his usual time)...woke up at 1am & took another bottle of milk...woke up at 5am - completely wet the bed, sheets, clothes, MaMa's night gown and he was ready to party!! When Mom called at 9am and Randy answered the phone all she said was..."HELP"! John slept all day Sunday - it was great...me, Randy & John all curled up in bed & napped - the perfect birthday!
The Search....
I think I am getting old. Okay…I know am not old but I am in search of something that mak
es me feel like I am old. I am in search of the world’s most comfortable slippers. My feet stay cold and nothing keeps them warm.
I bought a pair of fake Ugg Boots from Wal-Mart in the fall. (I refuse to pay $100+ for slippers that Hollywood has made famous.) I enjoyed my itchy…fake sheepskin...no support... still have to wear sock
s to keep warm…falling off me boots - until…Randy got a pair of men’s slip on Ugg slippers for Christmas from my folks! These slippers are almost heavenly…the sheepskin is super soft and they warm your feet immediately but...they feel like you are walking on cardboard – no support whatsoever....(see there I go again - worrying about support) When Randy doesn’t wear his new slippers...I secretly put them on - to warm my feet….& apparently he does not like this - after ten years you would thought I would have known that Randy does not like to share his shoes. I tried on some women’s Ugg's at Dillard’s today – they are on sale. They are so soft but uncomfortable to walk on. I made....I mean I asked Randy nicely to go to Dillard’s tonight to buy me some Ugg's like his…he brought back two different styles – soft but very uncomfortable.
The search continues…
I would like something that encompasses my entire foot in soft sheepskin and has something like “memory foam” for the sole. It needs to have a good bottom for indoor/outdoor use…I better add…”I promise and do solemnly swear I will never wear these slippers to Wal-Mart”. The sheepskin should be cozy soft…not the fake…itchy stuff. I want it to feel like air or a cloud when I walk…and they need to be washable too....maybe in a tan color. Do you have any suggestions??
es me feel like I am old. I am in search of the world’s most comfortable slippers. My feet stay cold and nothing keeps them warm.I bought a pair of fake Ugg Boots from Wal-Mart in the fall. (I refuse to pay $100+ for slippers that Hollywood has made famous.) I enjoyed my itchy…fake sheepskin...no support... still have to wear sock
s to keep warm…falling off me boots - until…Randy got a pair of men’s slip on Ugg slippers for Christmas from my folks! These slippers are almost heavenly…the sheepskin is super soft and they warm your feet immediately but...they feel like you are walking on cardboard – no support whatsoever....(see there I go again - worrying about support) When Randy doesn’t wear his new slippers...I secretly put them on - to warm my feet….& apparently he does not like this - after ten years you would thought I would have known that Randy does not like to share his shoes. I tried on some women’s Ugg's at Dillard’s today – they are on sale. They are so soft but uncomfortable to walk on. I made....I mean I asked Randy nicely to go to Dillard’s tonight to buy me some Ugg's like his…he brought back two different styles – soft but very uncomfortable.The search continues…
I would like something that encompasses my entire foot in soft sheepskin and has something like “memory foam” for the sole. It needs to have a good bottom for indoor/outdoor use…I better add…”I promise and do solemnly swear I will never wear these slippers to Wal-Mart”. The sheepskin should be cozy soft…not the fake…itchy stuff. I want it to feel like air or a cloud when I walk…and they need to be washable too....maybe in a tan color. Do you have any suggestions??
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Funny...
When I was pregnant with John...Randy ask me to make a list of at least ten people that would be willing to babysit John at least once a week...or even twice a week. I didn't make the list - something told me I wouldn't need it.
Happy Valentines
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Of all the holidays this is probably one of my favorite…if not my favorite!
I have lots of happy memories & fun times…I know Valentines??
Of all the holidays this is probably one of my favorite…if not my favorite!
I have lots of happy memories & fun times…I know Valentines??
Seriously??
Well…my birthday is the day after so I have two special days in a row!
Randy took me to Applebee’s for dinner tonight…yes Applebee’s. We have become really good friends with the manager & the staff so we always have a great time there…and they have the best steaks! My favorite item currently is the shrimp & spinach salad – it is really good…I highly recommend it.
Tonight is a big night for me & Randy. It is our first night without John. Randy has never been away from him…I was gone one night last year when I went to see Christin. It’s barely 8pm and we have already told each other that we miss him. MaMa & PaPa Light wanted to keep him to give us a special evening…so what am I doing??? Blogging??? Yes…I have a free moment but our evening is not over! After we exchange gifts we are going to go on an “old folks ride” …what is an old folk’s ride you ask??? We get a cherry limeade from Sonic and cruise around the city…hold hands…listen to music…we have done it forever – I stole the idea from Dollie Sue. We use to do it a ton before John…we take him sometimes but I like keeping him on a routine and the best time to take a ride is usually as John is getting ready for bed.
So…John is at party central…it is going to be interesting to see if he misses us. I am sure he is having a blast…it is party central after all. At least I can’t get knocked up tonight. hee…hee…hee
Randy took me to Applebee’s for dinner tonight…yes Applebee’s. We have become really good friends with the manager & the staff so we always have a great time there…and they have the best steaks! My favorite item currently is the shrimp & spinach salad – it is really good…I highly recommend it.
Tonight is a big night for me & Randy. It is our first night without John. Randy has never been away from him…I was gone one night last year when I went to see Christin. It’s barely 8pm and we have already told each other that we miss him. MaMa & PaPa Light wanted to keep him to give us a special evening…so what am I doing??? Blogging??? Yes…I have a free moment but our evening is not over! After we exchange gifts we are going to go on an “old folks ride” …what is an old folk’s ride you ask??? We get a cherry limeade from Sonic and cruise around the city…hold hands…listen to music…we have done it forever – I stole the idea from Dollie Sue. We use to do it a ton before John…we take him sometimes but I like keeping him on a routine and the best time to take a ride is usually as John is getting ready for bed.
So…John is at party central…it is going to be interesting to see if he misses us. I am sure he is having a blast…it is party central after all. At least I can’t get knocked up tonight. hee…hee…hee
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Counting Sheep...
The other night John decided he did not want to sleep in his own bed so he came piling in bed with me and Daddy. As we were getting comfortable I rolled over on something -very hard. I pulled out the sheep pictured above. I told John the sheep could not sleep with us...between him, his lovey, Daddy, tons of pillows, and blankets there was just no room. As I handed the sheep to Daddy to put on the dresser Daddy said so wittingly..."John must have been counting sheep...and caught one!" It was a funny moment.Monday, February 9, 2009
Glory to the Lord.
As of today I am six to eight weeks pregnant.
Things were going good until Sunday 01/25/09 and I started spotting - nothing heavy. (I didn’t do anything like this when I carried John) I was sort of freaked out but I have heard of women having periods their entire pregnancy…I called my doctor on Monday 01/26/09 and he wanted to see me immediately. He did a sonogram and said I was having a miscarriage - there was no sack or baby in my uterus. He ordered a blood test to check my HCG level which should have been over 2000. When the test came back on Wednesday 01/28/09 he called me to tell me the test showed on 720 – which was not good. He made me an appointment for Monday 02/02/09. He told me what to expect for a miscarriage, to call him, and we would get through this together. As the week progressed so did the bleeding. By Friday 01/30/09 I had to start using pads and I started passing clots. I was cramping but it was nothing horrible and nothing like labor. This went on all weekend. After crying and praying all day Sunday 02/01/09 I had my mind made up that I had miscarried, it was okay, it could have been worse, I am blessed I have a beautiful healthy son – we will try again in a few months.
When I went to the 02/02/09 appointment I was expecting to hear that I had miscarried. I told the doctor about my weekend and he said that he was 98% sure I had a miscarriage. He checked me out…and apparently I have not had a miscarriage!! My cervix was closed and I had not experienced any horrible cramping, or large clots. He went on to say there is a chance that only a placenta formed and a baby did not form but he does not know for sure...but I would still miscarry that! UGH!!! UGH!!!
The sonogram showed something small at the bottom of my uterus - he is not sure what it was. He said that he could do a D&C that week but he wanted to wait. When he came back in the room after the exam he seemed different…he told me not to get my hopes up...but he had been wrong before...there might be a baby there. He ordered more blood work...if my HCG level was over 2000 on Wednesday...then there is a baby….somewhere. (When you are pregnant the HCG level should double every 72 hours)
So…we wait.
I called on Tuesday 02-03-09 for my test results. The nurse told me the doctor had not reviewed them yet…I told her that was fine I just want to know the number. She told me 1700…which was not good but not bad. She called me back within ten minutes and said the doctor said “NOT to get my HOPES up”. I told her not to worry…my hope is in the Lord not the doctor. The bleeding stopped this day.
So…we wait.
All last week Randy & I went to the healing ministry at church, we went to a church that had a charismatic preacher from Kenya that prayed in the spirit over me, we had friends…to be exact we had 14 people lay hands on me at once, we called different prayer organizations for pray…you name it…we were praying. Randy & I want this…to give glory to the Lord. To prove to so many that God does do miraculous things…nothing is too small or big for Him.
The last two weeks I have had friends tell me just to schedule the D&C…to tell me that I have had a miscarriage….there will be other babies - my faith was tested. I will admit my faith has been tested and I have had moments of weakness but not Randy. He has rebuked every statement against me and the baby – he has been amazing.
So…we wait.
This weekend at church Randy and I went to prophetic ministry to hear what God had to say. The words were really good but as we got up to leave one of the prophets turned to me and said…”Tina, I am not sure what this means…but the Lord is wanting me to tell you back from the brink of death….back from the brink of death. We breathe new life into you…new heavenly life into you.” Well…you can only imagine – I totally flipped out. I had to tell her what I had been going through!! She was just as amazed as I was. When we left church my body was very warm…especially the part where the baby was. And I had a strange peace over me. I knew that whatever was to come on Monday…it was going to be okay…glory to God.
Here we are today.
When the doctor started the sonogram he noticed some movement and could not explain what he was seeing. Then…he said “what is that” (something you really don’t want to hear from your doctor) and he said “well…look’ie there” and there was my baby!! The heartbeat was fluttering away…there was a good sack around him…and everything looked normal. Of course I just started praising the Lord….all glory to Him. All glory to Him!! I was crying…Randy was crying…the nurse was crying…and the doctor was crying. The doctor said the Lord was right when he said “I formed you in a secret place”. It was great! Today has been an amazing day!
Praise the Lord! If you think of us… pray and praise the Lord!
Psalms 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was
made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be
Things were going good until Sunday 01/25/09 and I started spotting - nothing heavy. (I didn’t do anything like this when I carried John) I was sort of freaked out but I have heard of women having periods their entire pregnancy…I called my doctor on Monday 01/26/09 and he wanted to see me immediately. He did a sonogram and said I was having a miscarriage - there was no sack or baby in my uterus. He ordered a blood test to check my HCG level which should have been over 2000. When the test came back on Wednesday 01/28/09 he called me to tell me the test showed on 720 – which was not good. He made me an appointment for Monday 02/02/09. He told me what to expect for a miscarriage, to call him, and we would get through this together. As the week progressed so did the bleeding. By Friday 01/30/09 I had to start using pads and I started passing clots. I was cramping but it was nothing horrible and nothing like labor. This went on all weekend. After crying and praying all day Sunday 02/01/09 I had my mind made up that I had miscarried, it was okay, it could have been worse, I am blessed I have a beautiful healthy son – we will try again in a few months.
When I went to the 02/02/09 appointment I was expecting to hear that I had miscarried. I told the doctor about my weekend and he said that he was 98% sure I had a miscarriage. He checked me out…and apparently I have not had a miscarriage!! My cervix was closed and I had not experienced any horrible cramping, or large clots. He went on to say there is a chance that only a placenta formed and a baby did not form but he does not know for sure...but I would still miscarry that! UGH!!! UGH!!!
The sonogram showed something small at the bottom of my uterus - he is not sure what it was. He said that he could do a D&C that week but he wanted to wait. When he came back in the room after the exam he seemed different…he told me not to get my hopes up...but he had been wrong before...there might be a baby there. He ordered more blood work...if my HCG level was over 2000 on Wednesday...then there is a baby….somewhere. (When you are pregnant the HCG level should double every 72 hours)
So…we wait.
I called on Tuesday 02-03-09 for my test results. The nurse told me the doctor had not reviewed them yet…I told her that was fine I just want to know the number. She told me 1700…which was not good but not bad. She called me back within ten minutes and said the doctor said “NOT to get my HOPES up”. I told her not to worry…my hope is in the Lord not the doctor. The bleeding stopped this day.
So…we wait.
All last week Randy & I went to the healing ministry at church, we went to a church that had a charismatic preacher from Kenya that prayed in the spirit over me, we had friends…to be exact we had 14 people lay hands on me at once, we called different prayer organizations for pray…you name it…we were praying. Randy & I want this…to give glory to the Lord. To prove to so many that God does do miraculous things…nothing is too small or big for Him.
The last two weeks I have had friends tell me just to schedule the D&C…to tell me that I have had a miscarriage….there will be other babies - my faith was tested. I will admit my faith has been tested and I have had moments of weakness but not Randy. He has rebuked every statement against me and the baby – he has been amazing.
So…we wait.
This weekend at church Randy and I went to prophetic ministry to hear what God had to say. The words were really good but as we got up to leave one of the prophets turned to me and said…”Tina, I am not sure what this means…but the Lord is wanting me to tell you back from the brink of death….back from the brink of death. We breathe new life into you…new heavenly life into you.” Well…you can only imagine – I totally flipped out. I had to tell her what I had been going through!! She was just as amazed as I was. When we left church my body was very warm…especially the part where the baby was. And I had a strange peace over me. I knew that whatever was to come on Monday…it was going to be okay…glory to God.
Here we are today.
When the doctor started the sonogram he noticed some movement and could not explain what he was seeing. Then…he said “what is that” (something you really don’t want to hear from your doctor) and he said “well…look’ie there” and there was my baby!! The heartbeat was fluttering away…there was a good sack around him…and everything looked normal. Of course I just started praising the Lord….all glory to Him. All glory to Him!! I was crying…Randy was crying…the nurse was crying…and the doctor was crying. The doctor said the Lord was right when he said “I formed you in a secret place”. It was great! Today has been an amazing day!
Praise the Lord! If you think of us… pray and praise the Lord!
Psalms 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was
made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be
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