Since June of last year my little family…I should say big – there is nothing "little" about the three of us…anyway…we have been under attack from the enemy. It started with John falling off the kitchen counter and breaking his collar bone in June. I could go into all the attacks we have had but I refuse to revisit these & give the enemy the satisfaction of my sorrow!
The attacks have gotten worse…and worse…and worse…and now (if this makes sense) more personal. Just about the time Randy and I think things have settled down…BAM…another bomb drops.
As I type this...I am in a hospital room with John. He had what appeared to be a severe asthma attack at midnight last night. We gave him breathing treatments but they would only last about thirty minutes & "wire" him up. We went to the doctor about 10am this morning and he admitted John to the hospital. John does not have a history of asthma…he did have a small case of RSV last month but nothing too bad. They ruled out RSV and pneumonia so far and the doctor did not make rounds tonight so we do not know what any of the test results are. They have poked, x-ray’ed, and exam’ed every square inch of his John's little body. He has an IV in the bend of his arm, a monitor for oxygen on his big toe, and oxygen up his nose. But...as I gripe to you about this trial…I must stop and Praise our Lord. I keep hearing the Casting Crowns song“Praise You Through This Storm”
“And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm”
Okay...I honestly thought…this is how ignorant I was when I came back into relationship with Jesus…I thought that my life was going to be easy. I thought that since I was walking the straight & narrow path that my troubles & heartaches would be far…far…away. Little did I realize I would be tested….over…. & over…& over. Sometimes I fly through a test and I seem to pass with flying colors and then other times…I have to re-take…& re-take…& re-take. I have even stepped away from fellowship with the Lord because the test was just too much…I could not take it again but eventually the test came back…and I ran straight to Him. And that’s the great & amazing thing…He wants to help me with each of these tests. I cried to my sister today and said “what is going on”….”what have I done to make God so mad at me”….”what type of sin do I have that is causing this pain”. She told me that I was doing things right and it is making the enemy really mad. So…I take this test. And I praise our Lord. I am hanging on to His hem.
I leave you with another song that keeps going through my mind today by Mercy Me.
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope
Hold fast Help is on the way
Hold fast He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Thanks for reading...thanks for praying for us. I had to vent. I feel much better!
I still have two questions.....why is time now standing still....and why can't the hospital staff coordinate the times they come in the room - someone is coming in every thirty minutes to do a breathing treatment, take a temperature, look up a nose....why can't they do this all at one time and let the boy sleep???...I know I am sure there is a great reason. Just asking???