Thursday, August 21, 2014

I Miss you…

My Mother was heading for a very painful and lengthy death.  Her Mother and two of her sisters died a very painful and ugly death from Alzheimer's.  Mom was in the early stages and I could see it.  I am thankful she didn’t suffer this, it was one of her great fears.

I have been thinking of this day for weeks.  It’s half a year she has been gone.  Dad is still confused.  He told a doctor the other day she died last month, he was shocked when I corrected him.  And he questioned me about it when we got to the truck.  He loved her.  He never spoke one ill word of her.  I was alone with him one time several years ago and told him that I could not stand the way she treated him..and did he ever stand up for himself?!?  HE got MAD at me!  HE said that’s my girl – don’t you talk about her.  He was right…she was his girl before she was my Mother.

As I look back The Lord was preparing me for this time.  Several years ago my brother told me “you and Mom don’t have a normal relationship!”  She was my best friend.  She was my very best friend especially as I got older.  We would talk on the phone several times a day, play lottery tickets together, shop, eat at Olive Garden,  and have fun girl trips (till she got sick).  That’s the Mom I miss.  I miss my Mom that adored my hares.  I miss her humor.  I miss her telling me the same story over and over and over.

After my aneurysm the phone calls stopped.  She wouldn’t call me because she was scared she would wake me up.  I wouldn’t call her because I wouldn’t remember too.  The Lord started pulling us parting. to make it easier on me for the day he would take her home.

I miss my Mom.

If there was anyone on this earth that truly loved me and always had my back and my best interest at heart it was my Gertie.  and now she is gone.

I want so badly



just one more time…

to hear her say “oh Tina, it will be alright we’ll get through this!”

I love you Gertie.  I pray that today you are with Max, Richard, Clinton, Thelma, Mag and your beloved Aunt Helen.  That celebrations never stop.

1 comment:

Mookie 59 said...

Hello,Tina -I read your blog with great empathy of you missing your mom,Mary/Gertie.. I.too miss my mother of years past and I am sure Randy does also..I just want to say that you are not alone in this facet of the human condition and with the passage of time the pain of losing them gets less and you will always remember their love for you..Love you sister -in-law.. Be at peace with the Lord-He has it in control in His Hands..Kevin