June 9-11, 2013

I don’t really remember June 9, 2013 but it was my Daddy’s birthday and my Mother was sick with double pneumonia in the hospital - again.  I had already traveled this road many times with Gertie. (I am not so sure when or how or why I started calling her Gertie...it was  a pet name behind us.  There is no disrespect..she was my Gertie)  Gertie was healthy overall except a thyroid condition, COPD and emphysema, which she denied having the last two.  How could she not have them?  She was almost 79 years old and smoked constantly since she was 14…you do the math.  She was also in the early stages of dementia…which she denied and I couldn’t blame her.  We both watched her Mother and several sisters die from this cruel and ugly genetic disease.

So, Gertie was in the hospital again and fighting with the nurses, doctors, and especially me.  I was the mean one making her stay.  I begged the nurses and doctor to please put a nicotine patch on her secretly because she would refuse the patch but since she was “of sound mind” they couldn’t do it.  I know that the addiction to nicotine was a key factor to her wanting out of the hospital.

I went to the hospital the morning  of June 10th and she was not there.  I was not surprised.  This was standard Gertie mode of operation.  She would always check herself out of the hospital.  Of course she wouldn’t call me or let me know.  Dad checked her out…he would do anything for her even if it wasn’t in her best interest.

I called their house and let them have it.  Not very Christ like.  I was so upset, aggravated, frustrated.  When she would pull “stunts” like this it would take more time away from my husband and my little hares.  I told her to NEVER CALL ME again  IF she was SICK call 911 because I can’t handle it anymore! (Little did I know what was about to happen)

The next day June 11th I went to my doctor and my blood pressure was was off the charts.  My doctor gave me a very stern talking too and prescribed me an anti-depressant that would lower my blood pressure.

Later that day Mom was still really sick.  I only found out because she used her “trump card” – my Daddy.  Daddy called Randy crying.  He told Randy Mom was dying and he needed help.  He asked Randy to please pick up Mom and take her to the ER.  Randy agreed.  But…but…I couldn’t let Randy handle this.  I knew my Mother’s medical history – I had to handle this.  Once I got to Mom’s house she was really sick – even to sick to get into the car so I called the ambulance to pick her up.  I drove Dad to the hospital in his truck.  Once she was checked in I left.  I called Randy to pick me up at I left her.  The guilt was so overwhelming.  I called several friends to reassure me I was doing the right thing – leaving my parents at the hospital alone.  I called my brother and he was behind me 100%.

I went home and went to bed.