Marriage is hard. As a child and young adult I never seen marriage as being hard…my folks made marriage look easy. I had a pre-conceived notion of how marriage was suppose to be…and it was not all of the effort, the giving, the doing, the struggling, the crying, and the hurting. Where was my Snow White/Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty story?
To make a long story short…God put Randy and I back together. It was hard – the hardest thing I have ever been through. There were many days that I did not want to live anymore. I was mad at God…I did not understand why He would bring me back to Amarillo and allow me to go through what I was going through. Family & friends turned their back on me…and shunned me. I wouldn’t even go to the grocery store close to my home…I would drive to Dumas or Pampa to avoid the chance of seeing someone.
But…God had a plan - God knew what He was doing. I learned who I was and the woman He wanted me to be. The Lord helped me clean out years of bitterness in my heart…bitterness that I was not even aware was there. Randy and I were able to re-connect and become stronger together. I fell in love with my husband again…and thanked God everyday for not letting us divorce.
You should know. satan is busy….he is busy 24 hours a day/7 days a week. he wants you. he wants your marriage…your spouse…your children…your family…your health…your joy…he wants it all. There is a battle everyday being fought between God and the enemy for you.
Divorce is easy - it is the easy way out of a problem. Most people believe they have a “right” to be happy, satisfied, joyful, respected, and appreciated. Where does it say we have these “rights”? Does God tell us anywhere in the Bible that we have these rights? Does He tell us if we are not happy we have a right to divorce? People think that divorce is a fresh/new start…I know I did. I was starting all over…a clean slate! But the problem was my slate was not clean at all. I had years of rage & bitterness in my heart…if I had got the divorce I wanted and re-married then that marriage would have failed because of my slate was not clean. Divorce is not the answer. Everything can be repaired and fixed; however it depends on how much the person is willing to sacrifice and to what lengths the person is willing to go through.
Is my marriage perfect? No way…do we still argue and get underneath each others skin? - sure we do…we are human. Randy and I want our marriage to work. We both work very hard…some days more than others to make sure we give it our all. I will always believe that John is our gift from God for fighting for our marriage to make it work. When I was going through the darkest time in the summer of 2006 the Lord spoke to me and told me “amazing things…be prepared for amazing things”. He was right 2007 was an amazing year.
So...where did this come from?? Unfortunately from a ridiculous tv show....Jon & Kate. I know that it is a reality show…I know that I do not know theses people but I cried my eyes out when I watched the show tonight. They keep saying it is all about the kids…it’s all about the kids….they are our main priority….we love the kids – THEN MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK! Kate stop emasculating your husband…Jon stay home! Get help…professional help…get the cameras out of your house…and make it work. I watched this show from the very beginning and loved to see Kate in action…organizing, cleaning, cooking, and having a cute marriage. They seemed so happy when they were in their smaller house…scratching pennies to make it work. Now they are in their mansion, endorsements out the wazoo, fame, and fortune but they have lost what is truly the most important thing…which isn’t a thing – it’s the family. Once again...you can have a ton of money, a beautiful house, a perfect body, trips to great exotic locations...but that does not make you happy or keep you warm at night.