Sunday, March 13, 2011

My Kiki Dog

I always wanted my own dog.  Let me clarify this...I always wanted a puppy.  Growing up there was always dogs around but they always belonged to my brothers...I never had my own until Snowball came along.  Snowball belonged to a neighbor but he would always jump the fence to play with me.  The neighbor would try to take him back but everyday Snowball would escape to my house.

After Randy and I got married I started asking Randy for a puppy.  I wanted a female buff Cocker Spaniel puppy and I wanted to name her Kiki.  Finally after years of pleading I wore Randy down...on January 18, 2003 I got my Kiki.  There's a really awesome story about how we found Kiki but it's too long and that's not the direction I want this post to go in.  Let me just say it wasn't an accident that I ended up with Kiki.kiki1Kiki was 11 weeks old when we bought her and I was in love - I finally had my own puppy.  However it wasn't long after we had her that Randy & I realized she had "issues".  We came to the conclusion that Kiki was from a puppy mill and was abused. Kiki was not a "people person"... she would hide and not socialize.  Kiki was very neurotic but she was mine & I loved her.

There were several times that Kiki almost bit me & Randy.  I would keep her in her kennel when people would come over in fear of her attacking someone.  In the spring of 2007 Kiki snapped at my friend's 3 year old son's nose.  Red flags were starting to rise...since we had a baby on the way.  The older Kiki got the more aggressive Kiki seemed to be.  The vet told me we could put her on doggie Prozac but it probably wouldn't help and that could get expensive - really quick.  Kiki was not nice to our other dogs...especially Doxy the smaller dapple dachshund.  Many times I would find Kiki attacking Doxy...this made me really sad.IMG_0084Once John came along Kiki would have nothing to do with him.  When we would let the dogs out to play with us Kiki would stay in her kennel. Kiki avoided John - always.

Then it happened. 

In November 2010 John got Kiki cornered and she bit him.  This was not Kiki's fault or John's was my fault for not watching John.  This broke my heart.  My baby was in pain and had to have 8 stitches.003I knew immediately that Kiki would have to go away.  There was no way I could keep her and take the chance of her attacking John, the new baby, or someone else.  Randy and I started praying.  I contacted several Cocker Spaniel rescue groups but no one wanted a neurotic 8 year old Cocker Spaniel.  Kiki would not go to strangers and would bit anyone that would try to touch her.  In December Randy took her to her regular groomer but Kiki bit her and would not come out of the kennel.  Kiki seemed more aggressive than ever.  I took her to a new groomer a few weeks ago and it was a disaster.  She was scared and violent.  The new groomer said as I was picking her up that "someone in your house is abusing this dog!"....which is not true.

Randy and I decided Friday was her last day with us.  I avoid this day and kept putting it off.  However....every time Kiki would run in the house John would just scream in terror.  Plus the neighborhood kids are starting to come over & play...what if Kiki bit one of them?!?!?  This is not a chance I could take.

So Randy took care of her.  He was going to take her to a no kill animal shelter.  I am not sure if they took her or not.  I don't want to know what happened.  Maybe someday I will want to know.  But for now I just pray that my little dog is safe, happy & warm wherever she may be.  I pray that God finds her a perfect home where she can run, play ball, and be loved on.  I haven't cried until now.  I have been sad and I have thought of her all weekend but the tears have come today.

John has asked about her several times and we told him that she has gone to a farm to live.  A happy place where she can run, chase rabbits, catch balls all day, and lay in the sun.  Dopey Dog (our boy dog) doesn't understand...bless his heart.  He just stands at the back door waiting on her return.  Doxy seems happier.  I know that is was and is the right thing to do.  It's just....

My heart is sad.

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