Tuesday, January 4, 2011

God's Fingerprints

Do you remember my Christmas post about John??   On Christmas Eve I prayed and asked God for help since my heart was aching that it wasn't the usual blow-out Christmas.  The next morning the first words from John's mouth was "it's perfect Mommy". 

It was like an answered prayer.

Tonight as I soaked in the tub I was listening to KLOVE and started crying.  It's next to impossible for me to hear praise music and not become weepy.  (The song playing now is the song that was playing - for your listening pleasure and my boo-hoo'ing.) 

I started praying and asking God to calm my fears.  My fear tonight is the new baby and my current relationship with John.  John and I are buddies.  We do everything together....he is my little shadow, my cuddle-bug, my Taco Villa fanatic, and he brings such joy in my life.  How is this baby going to change this relationship?  How am I going to have enough love for this baby and John?  How am I going to be able to give both of them equal attention?  Will it just happen?  Will he know that I am not replacing him?  Will he know how much I love him?

As I am still quietly weeping my boy comes bouncing in the bathroom with a can of black-eyed peas.  In his sweet tone he says "what'ca doing Momma?"  I try to stop crying but it's too late....I've been caught.  He sits the peas on the counter and brings his little stool right beside the edge of the bath tub.  Then he gently pats my arm and says "it's okay baby....it's going to be alright...just be happy"...and then he kisses my nose.  I can't help but cry and smile and laugh.  It's going to be alright. 

It was like an answered prayer.

He then jumps up from the stool and promptly thanks me for buying him some black-eyed peas - there his favorite!

Just be happy.


Laurie said...

I was so afraid when I went from one to two. It seems like it would be impossible to divide yourself in that way, but it's just so natural. With help from a good daddy and good supportive people in your life, you'll still find plenty of time to do special things with just you and John as well as time for just you and the new baby, but it's the times when you are all together just being a family that are awesome.

I'm so excited for you! You are going to love having a girl :)

Laura Fiskin said...

AWWW...now I am weepy too. Just remember that you are not dividing yourself you are multiplying. It doesn't seem possible to love enough or spend time enough with two but with God all things are possible and two kids are four times the love.

Linda said...

Thank you sweet mamma's for helping lift Tina up. I was not much use last night as I only have experience spreading myself between 20 children, not two of my own, and that's not the same. I told her it would work out, but I'm sure it was comforting to hear from some seasoned professionals.