What If....

For many years I let the "what if's" control my life.  I was obsessed with every choice I made and would wonder if it was the right or wrong choice I made at that time.  Once my relationship with God was stronger I would rely on His direction and discernment from Him but I still would wonder if it was me and not Him making the choice.  I did learn at a young age that in life you usually have two choices.  Choosing wisely was very important and whatever choice you make/made could have long term effects on your life.My basket of  what if's almost destroyed my marriage and it did ruin several friendships....I have since then learned that people come and go in your life from season to season and Mother was right if you have three or four really good friends you are blessed.

I was just thinking about my basket full of what if's the other day.  I had not thought of my basket in a long time.  It dawned on me that my basket was now empty....when did that happen?  How did that happen? It happened the day I had John Randall.That first cry changed everything in my life.  Everything that seemed important wasn't important.  Everything that mattered didn't matter.  My life changed in one moment with one cry.  I never think of the what if's  anym0re.  I could not imagine my life without John Randall.With the birth of my daughter around the corner I am wondering what I am going learn and how she is going to change me.  I know that I will never be the same.