December 7, 2009

Luke 2:6-7                                                                                                                  And it came to pass, while they were there, the days were fulfilled that she should be delivered.  And she brought forth her firstborn son; and she wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. 

I wonder...was she scared?  Mary & Joseph had traveled so far - was she tired?  Was she worried?  Upset?  What did she think about giving birth in a barn?  Was Joseph supportive?  How was the pain?  What did she think when she first saw Him?

For me...I was scared...very scared when the time came for John to be birthed.  Even though it was a scheduled c-section...I knew the exact time & place...I was petrified!!  I knew the date....the hospital...the doctors & nurses...I knew my family & friends would be there...and I knew John would be born in a clean, warm, & safe place.   At home I had planned & worked on his nursery for months...all of his clothes were cleaned and ready to use...I had plenty of diapers, wipes, & powder...there was nothing me or him lacked for.  Yet....I was still scared of the unknown.  I remember being taken in the delivery room and shaking because I felt so unprepared.  Even after Randy, my doctor & John's doctor prayed for me I was still so scared. 

As the process of the c-section started there were some major complications...painful complications I might add...but I started saying Philippians 4:13 out loud...very loud....and I made my nurse say it with me. 

Finally...when I heard John's first cry...all the fear, pain, agony, unknown, and trepidation I had was gone.  My life was never going to be the same from that moment on.  Everything that was important to me...everything that mattered to me changed in that moment.  I will never forget the first time I seen him...it was like nothing I had ever experienced.

As I type this I am in deep thought about  Mary and I wonder about her emotions, feelings, and her thoughts about the circumstances surrounding the birth of her Son.  I like to think that she had an unspeakable peace and she knew that everything was going to change & nothing would be the same. When she seen Jesus for the first time I am sure she was in love.  All the pain was gone and she knew God was in control.  Did she know??